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[It is almost laughable how easy this was to do, how the choice didn't make him hesitate beyond it's initial contact. How utterly full and complete he feels and wondering how he ever managed to exist any other way.]

[Well, he knows how, it was terrible, full of madness and contempt, full of anger and twisted glee, where he could only ever break what was in his hands, could only lie and manipulate to force the stage to dance the way he wanted.]

[Foolish.]

[Comprehension is warm like a pulse, and he feels it beat against him, against his own Jam that is still yearning to join it. It isn't ready, he realizes. That perhaps this sealing wasn't entirely what he thought it was. There is work to do, but in the meantime, he will lean against Vanilla's and let that warmth hold him entirely.]

[His arms move to wrap around him, an embrace that is all encompassing and protective, possessive.]

We belong together, for eternity.

[Those were Truthless' words once, but he repeats them, hopeful and certain, while a great deal of emotion threatens to overcome him. It's been a very overwhelming could of weeks, having his entire self stretched and pulled until it snapped over and over again. Poetic irony, if there ever was any.]

Edited 2025-03-04 10:40 (UTC)

[ And Vanilla supports him, wraps his arms warm and tight around him, using his robes as a sort of shroud to keep Shadow Milk hidden against him. Blanket him in. As possessive and as protective as Shadow Milks own hold is. His hands reach up to dig into Shadow Milks back, taking fistfuls of his clothes, holds the other firmly. Let's his heart beat through the Jam, against the one aching in return. He knows it's not ready, not yet, but it can heal. Someday, maybe, Knowledge will quicken into this world.

For now, Pure Vanilla let's their souls mingle and melt together, letting blue and black streak through gold and white, and in returning dripping his own colors back. Letting it pool and spread as he cradles that snapped soul in love. ]

You are more than my Other-Half.

[ It's not quite the other side of the same coin. It's a good analogy but he worried over it. It's more like a puzzle, missing pieces being filled in. Sadly, like this, Shadow Milk will be able to see how badly the death's have affected Pure Vanilla. Pieces of that soft soul gouged away and still bleeding, even after all this time. His healing stripped from him, which have been hastily patched over with him starting to learn moon healing but the meditations haven't done anything yet. And half of his "heart" decimated. It beats and pulses, and it's dripping hot light and gold; and then it stops and it's like the sun itself has gone. Vanilla's started to repair that with Shadow Milk, filling in the silent icy pieces with shadows and eyes.

Yet even then, Pure Vanilla around Shadow Milk is warm and tender, loving, softness and joy. ]

We belong together. For eternity. You complete me.

[He breathes in, and then breathes back out a new person. Something familiar but with gold seeped into his cracks, his soul a kintsugi dish.]

[With it comes a burst of clarity, understanding. Comprehension burning warm in his Jam where it otherwise struggles to respond. He sees finally, those wounds, left to bleed in his other half. He reaches for them, with purpose, with an intensity, but not to harm. Where his healing lays gaping and empty, Shadow Milk fills up with what he can spare of his own spark of magic, his own knowledge and affinity. Take the Other-Realm, for it is both of theirs. With his heart, he takes in both hands and pours himself into him. He cannot replace what is missing but he can at least try to fill him with something new. A double edged sword, when Shadow Milks own heart is twisted still, but his love burns so bright in other ways and surely that is better than the void.]

Reach for me, when your heart finds the cold darkness.

[ A-ah? That sensation burns but not in a painful way. It makes his breathing hitch, his eyes widen, as Shadow Milk tenderly shares with him as he did. Fills those broken and missing pieces with him, just as Pure Vanilla was slowly beginning to do. It pours into him and it makes him ache, shiver.

It's love. It's love and it burns in. ]

I already was.

[ Forgive the shudder to his voice, his heart cupped so tenderly in Shadow Milks hands the way it is. He reaches out in return, curls his fingers around Shadow Milks heart. Pulls it close to him and he gives love in return. ]

[It’s love and it burns, it burns brighter, darker, like the black sun he’s been claimed by, he holds Vanilla’s heart in his hands and he feels that desire to grip it tighter, squeeze it until it bursts. A rush of love dripping with a barely restrained violence that he very nearly gives into, because what is love if he hasn’t torn it asunder himself, if he has not made sure NO ONE ELSE can understand and feel it the way he can.]

[He catches himself, as Vanilla holds his own heart with love and warmth, and he gasps, pulling away. Not enough to break contact, but enough to breathe again. He rapidly blinks away tears, startled and overwhelmed.]

[If Vanilla is in a state to look, he will notice the change in Shadow Milk’s eyes. His right eye shines a vibrant gold rather than the cyan it was before.]

[ The violence isn't surprising. Shadow Milk isn't entirely healed. The desperation in which the other yearns is bound to make him bite and claw and rip. Mark and leave destruction in his wake, to make it so that only he's left his marks.

Why, oh why, does that bring about a soft touch of desire. Like he wants Shadow Milk to squeeze until he collapses under it and drips soul gold over his fingers. Marks him in his own way, stains that won't be erased.

Then the other is pulling back and Pure Vanilla breathes as well, feeling dizzy as he steadies himself, his hand coming up to his head. His eyes are open and he sees that change, and it makes his chest ache. Oh... A little piece of him? Or... or the awakening of Truth. ]

Shadow Milk...

[He may never truly be, it would take eons to undo the thousands of years of pain and misery he's wrought upon himself. He has taken the first step or two forward, but that road will be long.]

[He tries to catch his breath, while they both come up for air. His mind is buzzing, and he feels something warm dance under his skin. The adrenaline is still pulsing through him, having come so close to sinking his claws in to carve out more of him, rather than to fill. That desire is still there, though it slowly fades.]

[Vanilla's own wants, however, weren't lost on him.]

[He is being given a dangerous temptation. He does not know his own restraint if he were to indulge, and yet-]

...What is it?

[ Give him a moment to collect himself, breathing softly and closing his eyes, before opening them again to look around. Mm, the adjoined bathroom should have a mirror. He reaches out to gently take Shadow Milks hand and walk in that direction, tugging the other after him.

When they reach it, he steps in far enough to pull Shadow Milk into the mirror over the sink, so he can look at himself.

Can see the way gold has seeped in and overwritten his eye color. Matches Pure Vanilla's, said man staring into the mirror back at him. He's not sure if it's because of their souls once more in harmony, beating as one, or if it's because of Comprehension reaching out to touch Shadow Milks jam. Working itself in.

Speaking of jams, he can't stop himself from reaching up to touch his for a moment, reveal in the new feeling in it. It's heady, and he smiles at Shadow Milk in the mirror. ]

[Oh.]

[What a flood of complicated feelings that runs through him, that rushes through both of their souls. A loud mix of excitement, at something truly marking their connection, to the sudden horror of change, of seeing the physical proof of the way he has left his old self behind, to something bitter and afraid.]

[A flash of someone else in the mirror, a him, but younger, brighter, before the weight of knowledge tore him apart. ]

[It's gone the moment Vanilla touches his Jam, and that rinses all of it away, for now. He lets out a soft breath, bracing his hands on the sink. Oh ...that was quite potent, actually.]

[ Oh he feels that brief rush of horror and it wipes away his smile briefly, makes him inhale sharply. The fear mingled with excitement, the bitterness. It makes his fingers curl against his jam, even as the feelings fade and Shadow Milk braces himself on the sink. He steps in behind him to lean against his back, wrap his arms around him. ]

Breathe. It'll be all right.

[ He understands the feeling though. Seeing someone else staring back at you. You, but in a way you never expected to see. Or in Shadow Milks, never see again.

So he offers the other what he always has. Understanding. Calmness. ]

[It grounds him, reminds him of where he is, who he is (Who they are- he can't be haunted by that ghost when he's joined so solidly with Vanilla, he's sure of it. He can no longer go back to being that person, and he's personally made sure of it every chance he's gotten.)]

[He breathes, settles down, and sinks himself into the feeling of Vanilla's fingers against his Jam. Feels it warm at his back.]

...Do that again.

[ There. Slowly. Match your breathing to his. Gently in and out. Change will occur but Shadow Milk isn't alone. He'll never be alone again, Pure Vanilla made sure of that. So every change that happens, every step Shadow Milk takes on his path, Pure Vanilla will be right there with him.

The comment makes him hum in question, his head tilting to rest alongside his, eyes closed as he just cuddles in, nuzzles a little. Physical comfort as well as soul comfort. ]

Do what, Bluebird?

[He really should have expected this, considering how much of himself he just poured into Vanilla just now. He huffs at his answer, at that nickname, and then smiles.]

[He breathes in deep, basking in their shared contact, gives the illusion he is simply going to settle down, or perhaps do as Vanilla asks, before he slides his own fingers up to his Jam and presses.]

[ If he saw that smile he might have worried. The huff makes his face crinkle up in delight, though, enjoying the way Shadow Milk simply breathes and relaxes.

Then the touch, the press, makes him open his eyes. Surprised. Because when he touched his own, he was merely marveling at the new sensation from it. He didn't expect- ]

Oh.

[ If feels it as if Shadow Milks fingers are pressing into him. That's new, and makes his spine tingle. Curiously he raises a hand in return, fitting it between them to touch his own Soul Jam again, stroke his thumb against the curve of one round edge.

It's just a soft touch as he tests. ]

Did you not notice when you did it before...? Or maybe it wasn't as strong from your own Jam?

[He sees his expression in the mirror, and he can't help but grin wider, grow more excited that his touch was responsible in some way. Vanilla's gentle, curious touch runs a shiver up his spine. He breathes out through his nose, bracing a hand on the sink again.]

Maybe keeping them separate really was the smart thing to do, heheh.

[Where Vanilla's touch is soft, Shadow Milk's is much more imploring, curious. Insistent, and he presses again, dragging his finger down the center.]

I... no, I didn't feel anything...

[ And he's let other's touch his jam and felt nothing. His voice is a little breathy, and his gentle touch stutters as his cheeks flush to the feeling of Shadow Milks fingers. Pressing, dragging downwards. It feels like his fingers are in his soul. He raises his free hand to cover his mouth, heat dripping through him, arousal pooling low in his stomach.

It's different than when their souls mingled. He doesn't understand why it's different. It shouldn't be different but-! ]

Shadow Milk...

[ His words are muffled behind his hand, and he retaliates by pressing his finger firmly into the jams surface, stroking up from the pointed tip to the top of the middle circle. It's his Soul Jam, so why doesn't he feel it? Is it because he's touching his own?

He pulls his hand away from his Jam and reaches around to Shadow Milks, swirling his finger against the smooth surface, before pressing in a hard stroke down the middle like his Bluebird did. ]

[Oooh, it is such a sweet treat to see him make that face, to hear him say his name like that. To be in such warm distress, to feel the heat from his arousal echoing against his own soul.]

[Wicked delight stirs up in him, and he pulls his hand away entirely. A tease that does not really pay off when Vanilla gets wise.]

[He endures the wave of pleasure that hits him from Vanilla's Jam, but the same is not said when he finally reaches around him, and touches his own. It's like being struck by lightning, and he is so wholly unprepared for the intensity of it, that the sound that tears out of him is hardly human.]

[His knee's buckle and he catches himself against the sink, full body trembling and with sparks dancing in his eyes. Oh, there is a fire in his gut and he can barely stand. All it took was one touch, huh? Hahaha he really isn't going to last long, is he? What a shame.]

[He grins through it, hair floating nebulously, but the eyes belay what's really going on.]

Hahaha... that all? B-Bet I can make you scream-

[He is literally gripping the sink for dear life.]

[ With Shadow Milk moving his hand, Vanilla can breathe and oh he does, inhaling hard as the onslaught of sensation fades into a low throbbing memory. He still aches with arousal but it no longer feels like fingers in the base of his spine, dragging it out of him.

The sound Shadow Milk makes is almost startling, and it causes desire to rush through him, on top of the flare of Shadow Milks intense pleasure. It's sweet and heady, and like earlier in this very room, it makes him want to drag it out again. But this time it also makes him squirm against the other, not hiding the arousal pressed up against him. Makes him want more.

The sag makes him catch him, the arm still around him tightening to hold him up, and Vanilla huffs a soft laugh to the taunting. ]

Bluebird...

[ But this makes that new wicked streak of Vanillas flare, and he turns Shadow Milk around to face him. It may expose his own Soul Jam, but he's quick to execute his idea before Shadow Milk can reach for him. He leans down the small distance and drags his tongue along Shadow Milks soul jam, then concentrates hard. Nudges the jam just a little to coax it to accept him, just enough to dip his tongue in. ]

[He's all talk and he knows it right now. The ease at which Pure Vanilla can reposition him should be shameful, but it's true. He's hardly got a thought in his head right now, with the ebb and flow of feeling both Vanilla's and his own arousal, rising and falling like tides in succession. It means the moment he's able to catch his breath he just rises back up again, but before he can find the edge, back down he goes.]

[This alone is more than enough to drive him mad, so as he shakes under Vanilla's hold, as he feels his pants becoming increasingly too tight, all he can do is watch as Vanilla leans down.]

[The Soul Jam is more than happy to comply, and Shadow Milk at the mercy of his grip on the sink and Vanilla's graceful hold, tips his head back to let out a long, heady moan. It's a hot streak of pleasure running through his very soul. Once it's run it's course, he's left feeling desperate and needy. His hair, twitching and writhing erratically reaches to wind possessively around Vanilla's arms.]

Haa- Vanilly...

[He whines his name, begging him for more.]

[ Oh no that almost undoes him as well. The Jam lets his tongue in, Shadow Milk moans like that, and the echo of intense pleasure rippling across his soul makes him return the noise, soft and high and broken on the edges of it. He has to pull his tongue back, shuddering as the tendrils of Shadow Milks hair wrap around his arms, making him shift in closer, panting softly.

Close enough he can press against the other, hip to hip, letting him feel the arousal grinding up against him as he feels Shadow Milks in return.

This was most certainly not what he was aiming for coming here today, and there's a wonder at just how easily it is to fall into Shadow Milk. To press his mouth to his Other-Half, teeth digging into his bottom lip before he sucks and then soothes his tongue over it. He raises his hand between them to touch Shadow Milks jam again, dragging his nails gently across it. Presses his fingers in hard, then in like his tongue, unable to stop his hips from rocking forward to rub them together at the echo, Vanilla's mouth parting away to moan. ]

A-ah-! Hah... T-touch me? Please...?

[They sure aren't any good at getting anything done, but hey, maybe the Necromancy research will go much more smoothly after this.]

[As with last time, it's just a nonstop onslaught of pleasure and sensation. Pure Vanilla is so deft at leaving him a quivering, whimpering mess with his fingers and it's really starting to get embarrassing. Oh, but it feels so good, though. He loves to see him take charge like this, what a delightful side of his Other-Half he hadn't expected.]

[He refuses to let go when Vanilla goes for his mouth, as he drags his fingers through his Jam, Shadow Milk pulls on his lips with his sharp teeth, biting hard enough to draw blood. The warmth of it spills on his lips, messy as they rock against each other. touch him, touch him, Ovens does he want to.]

[But even with practice now, he knows he's not much longer for this, so he tries to turn the tables. He pushes off from the bathroom sink, pressing into him, and bringing them both weightless for a moment, only for Shadow Milk to pin Vanilla on the bathroom floor. He bucks his hips up against him and then leans down.]

Y-you ...you should say that again, just like that~

[His tongue is long and forked like that of a snakes, and it curls around the curve of his Jam.]

[ It's rather delightful, having Shadow Milk under his strings for once, tied up in him. Even if it also leaves him squirming to the backlash of pleasure. Echoing across his ears, across his soul, tingling under his skin hot and messy. The pain in his mouth to the teeth breaking skin doesn't even stop it any - instead Shadow Milk will feel it ratchet a little higher, Vanilla's breathing hitching up in soft whines.

The sudden push against him as Shadow Milk moves from the sink startles him, his eyes fluttering open from where they'd fallen in surprise and a little confusion, even as his arousal aches and throbs, twitching against the harder press. ]

Sha-!

[ His name ends in a gasp, his hands moving but with the hair wrapped around his arms he can't grab, as he suddenly finds himself down on the ground. The repositioning makes his head spin at the sudden loss of control, the rutting against him making him moan and his legs to shift, knees spreading to shift up around Shadow Milks hips, shifting the robes down some. ]

Tou- AH!

[ Well he was going to try and beg for it again but the hot curl of that tongue against his Jam makes pleasure sear across his soul, wrangles a loud cry out of him as he arches his back. Having more stamina physically translates into shit all when your souls are entwined. He pulls against the hold of the hair, fingers twitching to get back to Shadow Milks Jam in return, face flushed and mouth parted and bloody from the bite as he tightens the muscles of his legs to force Shadow Milk to rock against him and for his own hips to curve up in return. ]

G-give me- A-ah... your jam!

[ Together. ]

[There, isn't this a better position? Shadow Milk feels like he has some kind of control now, though it is thin, and he can at least rock his hips against Vanilla's in a way that isn't totally erratic and useless. He isn't in danger of losing his balance against the sink and smashing his head on the porcelain-]

[Vanilla cries when his tongue meats the Jam and it sends such a hot thrill down his spine. He instead goes right into the crook of his neck to kiss and mark him with his teeth, sharp fangs dragging down his skin while he tries to meet Vanilla's bucking hips with his own. It's a messy not-quite rhythm, but Shadow Milk knows he's nearing the edge. Every shift brings another soft 'ha' and his breath hot against his skin.]

[Ah, he is reduced now to barely speaking words. The twisted adoration that floods their connection at that... his hair will finally release Vanilla, though some of it slides up to oh so gently cup his chin while Shadow Milk draws juuuust a little more blood.]

S' all yours-

[His thumb rests at it's center, waiting. Together.]

[ The bite of teeth against his skin drags another keening moan out of him and he turns his head, tilts it, offering Shadow Milk more to dig in to. His movements are frantic in return, toes curling as his soul surges under his Other-Halfs torment. Surrenders to him, yields sweet and soft. What else can it do? They're one, after all, and Shadow Milks touches physical and otherwise evoke a pleasure so deep that Vanilla can't do anything but give in to it.

With his arms released he almost frantically reaches his hand towards the others Jam, whispering a soft gasped noise to the flood of adoration, even as twisted as it is. And he returns it in a rush of desire. His other hand moves to dig into the hair near Shadow Milks head, fisting in tightly to pull as he feels more blood leak warm down his skin. Tugs hard enough to pull his mouth back so he can crash their lips together.

The kiss is rough and Vanilla digs his teeth into the lips under his in return, drawing blood as readily as the other did him. And as he does, he presses his fingers to Shadow Milks Jam, feeling it warm and throbbing under them. It's all the warning his Other-Half gets before he digs his nails in, his needy gasp lost in the others mouth as he feels the echo, tugging desperately as he ruts against Shadow Milk, feeling the the heat building tight. ]

Please!

[The vibration of his throat against Shadow Milk's teeth urges him on, with each of his noises, his gasps, his moans, the more he wants to devour him whole. Drink up every little sound, to claim every inch of that skin, to feel his soul inside and out. His teeth sink in, and he gleefully laps up the blood spilling down his neck, smears it messily across his face as he continues to rut against him like a Beast.]

[Vanilla pulls on his hair and the sound that escapes him is both breathless and filthy, before Vanilla is going in for this mouth. Sweet strawberry and the sharp tartness of blueberry dances in their mouths. His pushes that horrid serpents tongue of his further into his mouth, coils it around Vanilla's tongue, drags it across his lips.]

[Vanilla presses his nails into his Jam and it's a miracle he gets his own hands there, drags his claws down the Light of Truth, before he immediately comes with a strangled shout into their mouths. For a brief moment he feels his entire mind and soul burn white.]

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