jesterlies | INBOX

( OW?????

lily covers her ears a moment too late, wincing- )

--Well, I was worried when you and Pavlova Cookie went off on that rescue mission without telling me! Especially in that town, the dog park ATE people-!

[Creators she's like. Actually worried about him??? That she is willing to-]

Guardian, don't you think that's a terrible idea?

[He gets up, walks a little around her, though he can't see, he's much better at picking up on her presence now that they've lived together for so long.]

Who knows what I could do with such a thing! I could turn that power back onto you, you know. I could do horrible things to the people here. Are you really so sure?

[It might sound sinister, malicious at the start, but Lily probably knows him well enough by now that there's an undercurrent of anxiety there too. Should you really give him this kind of power? Willingly? What if he goes mad again. What if-]

It can only be used twice a day, and I can use yours in turn.

( after a moment, she reaches up to gently cup his cheek. )

And Witches will cower at what I'll do to you if you ever betray me, anyways.

[Well, ]

[Okay then!]

[That actually stops him right there and something ...like relief leaks out of him? Weird!]

[But he hums, not removing himself from her hands.]

Well, in that case, I suppose there's no harm! If you're really sure.

( after a moment, lily smiles, but doesn't pull away. )

I am. I'd rather you be able to use my own magic to defend yourself. ... Though... ( now she falters, glancing aside, touch drifting slightly. ) ...I-if it's possible, I'd- prefer if you only use mine.

[He's like a weird affectionate feral cat.]

What else would I be u-

[Oh. His.]

[His expression grows dark for a moment before he scoffs, gesturing with his hands widely and moving to pace a little to try and cover up that horrible seething- jealousy? Betryal? Shadow Milk is a petty, grudge holding man.]

That won't be a problem! I wouldn't want the magical residue from that kind of magic sticking to my fingers anyway! Disgusting.

( he is, and she's rapidly losing every reason to be domestic beyond her own standards with every loss. match made in hell, honestly. )

Very well. May I see your wrist...?

[They've both cut the sleeves off all their shirts and there's no one there to stop them.]

[he hums and presents his wrist. In. A Direction. Hopefully he does not clothesline her accidentally with it.]

( he absolutely hits her, she wasn't even moving- there's an undignified squeak-- )

... T-that was probably my fault...

( owies....

lily sheepishly links his bracelet together around his wrist, just tight enough to keep close and comfortable, before she moves to put hers on. )

[And he startles with a yelp, pulling his hand back.]

Whoops!! Haha, blind-

[That's as close to an "I'm Sorry" as he's capable. But he is careful and still as she puts it on him for real. Once it's clasped he reaches with his other hand to feel the gem and cord curiously.]

( i misread severely these are amulets so we're slightly retconning that whoops, but uh.

the gems are heart-shaped. and a beautiful blend of blue and green, which she did NOT choose but- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... )

...

I didn't choose the theming, they're- intended for lovers.

[What- oh.]

[They're heart shaped. Creators.]

You realize this is going to paint a veeeeery interesting picture to the rest of this place, should we be seen.

Not any more than your reaction to the date auction has. But they really don't have any right to talk, I think.

Touche.

[Something sure possessed him that day to be possessive and deranged, huh. Crazy.]

I'm not letting anyone else have you by the way. I won fair and square.

( she almost says something, but decides not to. but... )

... Why did you get so- intense about it, Shadow Milk?

[He almost isn't sure how to answer, but he very quickly covers it up. Lily should know by now it's one of his masks.]

What? Are you surprised? Isn't it oooobvious? You belong to me! I don't like to share, Guardian!

[It has NOTHING to do with jealousy and feelings and gross stuff like that shut up.]

Well! Look at the time! Thanks for the gift, but I've got important people to be heckling, flowers to water, ee-tee-cee! Toodles!

[Acrobatic pirouette into the void (other-realm) byeeee]

Ah- hey! Get back here!

( fuck you, clown man, she's reaching for them coattails and tugging you back- )

Shadow Milk, I'm serious. I-

I need to know what we are.

[Hey wtf UNHAND HIM.]

[He gets yanked back and does some graceless barrel rolls in the air. His portal closes up.]

No you don't! Neither of us do! Why can't we just keep this play running the way it is!

Edited 2025-08-01 03:13 (UTC)

Because-

( lily falters, unsure of how to say the things she yearns for. the things she wants and fears. it's so very hard- she never was good at this sort of thing. )

I have lost... everyone I have loved. Over and over again. Sometimes by my own hand, sometimes by yours. And sometimes by theirs.

I don't want this pain anymore. If I keep this affection for you- what should I expect, Shadow Milk?

( her voice is quiet, and she can't look at his face. )

... Should I keep it or let it go?

[Oh. He doesn't like being asked that point-blank. He looks like he's been shot, frankly.]

[What should she expect? He feels like this should be painfully obvious, and yet.]

What should you expect...?

[The emotions churn in him, painful and white hot. He doesn't want to answer this, he doesn't want to have this conversation at all! Why did she have to ask! Why-]

It's poison, Guardian! My love is poison. Anyone I have ever loved or cared about, I've hurt. It will happen again. Sanity be damned, I'm still a mm- [Vanilla's voice rings in his head. The word he was about to say seems to cause him pain before he bites it down.]

I will bring you nothing but agony.

Edited 2025-08-01 03:36 (UTC)

( there's a wet laugh, tears bubbling in her eyes- )

And mine won't? I have damned my entire world for the love of my people.

( there is no tender love in her ear to soothe this pain, not after weeks of abuse at the words of her lovers. there is no gentle chiding, nor comfort.

just a terrible truth.

hesitant, she reaches forward- brushes her hand into his. )

... It's so stupid, isn't it? The idea that maybe we could cancel each other out.

( a monster for a monster. )

[His laugh is ...soft and bitter. He grimaces as if being in pain. As if thinking of all this, being honest about it, is causing him pain. He wants to grab his hair and pull, wants to smash his fist into the table. To break and bleed.]

[He shakes as he tries to reign it in. Thinks of the visage of strangling Vanilla and finally finds his calm, recoiling from the memory, shocking himself back to reality.]

It doesn't work like that, Guardian, and I would know. I'm the King of Lies, but you know what that means now, more than anything. That I am the King of lying to myself.

[He looks up, miserable, eyes cast towards the ceiling, unseeing. Hopeful, almost.]

I'll never learn my lesson. Doomed by my treacherous heart.

( she's quiet for a moment, a pain in her chest so tight that it makes her feel like she can't breathe.

lily inhales quietly and reaches up to gently cup his face in one of her hands. the bindings feel oddly cool to the touch and smell of herbs and mint. )

You've grown so much. Do not ignore that... please.

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